In the past week I was awarded my doctoral degree! Yay me! And it made me think back on how I started on my career as a scientist.
I spent many Sundays at my aunties house. We would talk about literature and science. She has studied maths and physics and naturally I excelled in these subjects in school, too. When my high school graduation came closer, the question of what I would like to do after school was discussed at my house. I wanted to be a journalist. But my father quickly brushed that off the table. – What would you learn in journalisms class? Nothing. There is nothing to learn. – He said.
I was really good at biology, so my new plan was to become a scientist. Thinking there was a lot to lern in biology classes I did not foresee my parents disapproval on this one. – Who even employes biologists? – Was the objection. But I was persistent. I was sure I was to gain skills that someone would find valuable.
In her next attempt to manipulate me, my mother took me aside and filled me in on the secret truth:
For a woman being a scientist is not an option.
What?
You won’t ever be able to have a carrier… It is a man world.
But all of my male teachers have always been very supportive.
Yes, that is only now that you are in school, but there will be a time where they will not allow you to proceed.
Why?
That’ just how it is.
Then I continue until I hit that barrier.
No, you can’t, I am telling you.
But I can …
Look, I want you to be able to do all of those things. But they won’t let you.
Regardless of my mothers conspiracy theory, I thought my reasoning was sound and if at some point men wouldn’t let me proceed in my carrier, then I would still have a high education and could at the point choose to settle or break barriers. Now, that I have obtained the highest academic degree, turns out my mother was wrong.
Although I think she said those things to keep my small, it is not an uncommon sentiment. Poor women, life is so hard for women, the system has to change, gatekeepers need to be removed. In my experience it is not the system or society at large that has made my life as a women hard. It has been other women in my immediate proximity that discouraged me.
I find my anecdotal observation confirmed in a study from the mid 90s. They looked that women that were anatomically unable to conceive and those that were functionally infertil, and their mothers. They found that functionally infertile women and their mothers have higher neurosis and have more emotional difficulties than the mechanically infertile ones. They also have more difficulties with their femininity and motherhood. This became especially apparent when conducting test for covert misogyny.
Here, I don’t wish to relay these findings to my functional infertility, but present them as hard evidence that the misogynistic views of mothers can have life determining consequences for their daughters.
This study from 1996 obviously references previous studies. But it is not referenced by many studies. Social medial has lost any concept of femininity and motherhood a while ago. But it seems that even science has lost sight of the importance of women’s own positive view of femininity and motherhood in their physical health that this decade old studies eludes too.
