My parents were stressing out and bullying me as we got ready to visit our old neighbors new house. They had sent me to get changed so I wouldn’t embarrass them. Though for me, I was going to play with my best friend. The rest of the family was waiting in the car while I made a final round around the house after I had changed into a dress. There was no point to it but to regain a feeling of control. Checking the clock on how late we would be, I felt an itch and I scratch it. „That will take care of that for a while“ I thought. And then noticed that that was en odd thing to think, since I couldn’t remember a time before that that spot had itched. An hour later, in a strenge bathroom, I found that my panties where soaked in blood. After starring at it in shock I had to do something. I went over to the sink and washed it all out. It might not happen again and then I won’t ever have to tell my parents. Rejoining the other kids, I just lay there my heart was still racing. I was so sacred, no longer trusting myself nor the world. One of the older boys asked me what was wrong, that I was different. It was time for me to pull myself together again, not to raise any suspicion. I wouldn’t have had the words if I had dared to confide in anyone.
Socioeconomic background
The study I looked at found, that there is a correlation between children self harming and their socioeconomic background. Though my parents weren’t actually poor, they made a point about telling me we were. I adopted that impoverished mindset and kept it into adulthood. I always saved as much money as I could and even tried to save food by eating less and wore cloth with holes in them. Feeling poor without actually being poor, is a complex concept that our minds have no problem constructing. Not only can we impoverish material wise, but also by being deprived of protection, care and it goes without saying love. Although there aren’t many studies done in children, this finding is backed up by studies in adults saying people that self harm later in life often had experience poverty as children.
Parents reporting
The authors speculate that there are in fact more children that harm themselves, than we think. In many incidences their cases will be put down as accidents. In teenagers, where a lot more self harm is reported, accidents and intend are easier to distinguish. And therefore more studies are available on the topic. Which also meant that younger children go without help.
When a child with injuries is presented the physicians have to relay on the reporting of the caregivers. But as the study has shown, 33 % of children had harmed themselves because of issues with a family member. And from my own experience, I know that parents lay to keep face. Chances are that some parents will deliberately cover up the self harm and report it as an accident. This assumption is supported by the fact that not all children in this study got a psychological assessment after the incident. Some parents had discharged their child from hospital before an evaluation.
Conclusion
As I indicated, I find my own case in this study. But my self harm happened almost unconscious, which adds a very complex layer indeed. And I myself can’t think of a way to address such an elusive thing in a scientific setting no less in children. I assume another reason why there isn’t more research on the topic is that the idea that children aren’t save with their mothers is threat to society across cultures around the world.
Self‐harm in children 12 years and younger: characteristics and outcomes based on the Multicentre Study of Self‐harm in England (2021) G. Geulayov, D. Casey, L. Bale, F. Brand, E. Townsend, J. Ness, M. Rehman, K. Waters, C. Clements, B. Farooq, N. Kapur, K. Hawton
